When You Can’t Seem To Stop Reliving The Past

“In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.” – C.S. Lewis

You remember everything. It is both a blessing and a curse. It is both your gift and your kryptonite.

You stare up at the ceiling in the darkness and surrender to your insomnia while your life flashes before your eyes. Every mistake replayed. Every regret amplified. Every memory sharp.

You pause for a moment to think about what you have left behind.

You remember the places you visited. You remember the lush green park and vibrant skylines. You remember walking down winding alleys in a new city listening to the sound of your footsteps while the city slept.

You remember witnessing such mesmerizing beauty that it took your breath away. His smiles.

You remember meeting strangers who you felt as though you had known a lifetime. You remember the instant connections you made. You remember the agony of saying goodbye when it was time to leave.

You remember receiving such warmth and friendliness that it never felt like you were away from home.

Some connections end when you board airplanes, while others end when you get off them.

Maybe avoid airplanes for a while.

Some dreams you have when you are asleep, while others you have with your eyes wide open.

Some dreams end when you wake up, while others end when you accept reality.

Maybe keep dreaming and one day you might catch one.

Most of all, you remember leaving behind a bit of yourself in all the places you visited and within all the people you have met.

Have you ever had that bittersweet feeling when you are living a moment that you know is only destined to become a memory?

Perhaps this is why you are so eager to preserve your memories. You store them in a dusty corner of your mind and replay them like vinyl on a gramophone when you reminisce about a moment.

You relive that moment through a memory of a dream.