a libra who writes..

Sabtu, April 14, 2018

Letter to Male Gender... Revised.

Dear Male Gender,


First, I want to say that I really do love your gender. 

I have learned a lot about myself through relationships with some of you. 
Heaven and Hell. 
At the same time,  
I think you should know that some of your actions 
are really confusing the ladies of the world 
and causing a large amount of unnecessary pain.
so... This letter is my response to that. let’s get right into it.


#1

If you like a girl, just tell her! 
I get it, maybe you’re afraid of rejection, maybe you think she’s too good for you, 
maybe you don’t want to put yourself out there. But you know what? 
Without risk there is no reward. Admitting you like a girl doesn’t make you weak,
 it makes you confident and women love confidence.
And if you don’t like her, don’t waste her time. 
Don’t keep her around because it makes you feel good to have a woman who likes you, 
don’t keep her as placeholder until you find something you actually want. 
It’s just mean.


#2
 Check on her, you know, like daily... 
daily communication is vital for some girls and 
they wanted to know if you at least think about them.
it's not that you have to feed Needy girl. That's not what i mean.
 but checking on your girl is a sing that you care. 
asking how was her day going on. simply say Goodmorning and goodnight. 

i understand you are busy. then, you can TELL HER, 
"goodmorning, i will be busy a whole day and probably wont talk alot today, 
but i hope you have a good day". or  
"going to bed now, super busy all day, 
sorry to not keep in touch as much as i wanted to, goodnight"

The RIGHT GIRL for you will tottally understand you are busy but, 
doesn't mean you dont act as a RIGHT GUY 
by at least put a minute of your time to show that you remember her. 
this is will create healthy mutual feeling even when you are super busy!

#3
Please think twice before you say things, words have weight

Since you are the less verbal of the two genders, 
it’s understandable that words carry less weight for you. 
However, you should realize that words do matter to women.

Don't compare her with your ex or your past (unless she's asking),

 don't tell how good is your ex and or another girl, 
because sometimes we believe that we are not good enough.. 
Well not all the woman, but you know.. A view woman do. 

Don’t tell her you like her more than you’ve liked any other girl, 

or you couldn't  see yourself marrying someone like her unless you actually mean it 
because she will believe you, and when the truth is revealed, she will be hurt 
and her ability to trust men will be compromised. 

Have you ever dated a girl you really liked 
but couldn’t get her to trust you and open up? 
You tried to break through her tough exterior, but you just couldn’t
Maybe you genuinely liked her and were being real, but chances are 
the guy before you wasn’t and  now she doesn’t know what to believe.

Worst! Don't play with both words. 
Don't treat her like she is the one at one time, 
but say that you don't want to be to serious 
and you are not even sure where you both go, at the other time. 
Its confusing! And HURT.


#4
Don’t lie to her
I know sometimes you’re afraid of how a woman will react to certain things. 
I get it, I give advice for a living and sometimes 
I have to tell women things they don’t want to hear 
and have to brace myself for a not-so-pleasant response. 
I could placate them and lie, but that doesn’t do anyone any favors. 
Women are a lot more logical than you give them credit for. 
Does the truth hurt sometimes? Yes. 
But you know what hurts more? When a trust is broken. 
The scars left behind from deceit take much longer to heal 
than feeling momentarily upset by the truth. 
Be honest with her, she’s tougher than you think.


#5
For the love of all things holy, do not call her crazy. 
Women are more emotional by nature, 
and that’s what makes them so wonderful 
and gives them the other qualities you love so much, 
like how compassionate, empathetic, and nurturing they are. 
We are different from you and these differences are important, 
they are the reason two people can encourage each other to grow 
and be at their best in a healthy relationship.
 Don’t dismiss her emotions because you deem them illogical, 
or think she’s just  being a “typical girl,”
 or it must be “that time of the month.” 
Let her express herself and hear what she has to say, 
even if you don’t fully get it, 
because a lot of the time she has no idea where you’re coming from either!

#6
Call her, you know, on the phone
this is the MOST THINGS that i feel now generation has LOST it! 
There’s a funny thing about smartphones, 
they also have this feature (not only texting!!) 
where you can hit someone’s contact info 
and then somehow you’re able to hear their voice and talk, 
yeah talk!! like with full sentences, not abbreviations and emoticons. 

Fine, in this day and age it’s all about the texting, 
but a phone call is nice and unexpected 
and it shows you care and showing you care isn’t a bad thing! 
Surprising goodnight call will make her day more than heaven.

#7

If you are no longer interested in seeing a girl, 
please tell her instead of ghosting. 
Sure, in your mind you’ve realized that she’s not for you, that it would never work. 
And maybe you’ve convinced yourself she’s on the exact same page, 
so you see no reason to reach out and state the obvious. 
Well, in most cases she has not reached the same conclusion 
and is instead spending the majority of her day checking her phone to see if you’ve texted, 
and racking her brain trying to figure out what went wrong.

She’ll replay the last interaction, 

looking for anything she may have done wrong
She’ll come up with excuses for your behavior… 
he’s having a busy week…he doesn’t want to seem too eager…
he likes me so much and is afraid of these feelings so he’s backing off.

Her days will alternate between hope and despair. 

When it gets to be too much, she’ll probably send a friendly text your way, 
in the hopes that it will bring some level of clarity.  
When she does, you will probably respond in one of two ways, 
neither of which will help the situation. 
One, you’ll reply with something casual and friendly, 
giving her a false sense of hope that you’re still interested and everything is fine.
 More often, you’ll ignore her text. 

Some women,

 the ones who can’t see beyond a thick cloud of denial,
 may think you lost your phone or broke it or there’s a service disruption. 
The others will realize that you’ve “ghosted” 
and will feel extremely hurt and confused.

They won’t know what caused your sudden shift 

and this confusion will morph into self-doubt. 
When the next guy comes along, she’ll be more guarded, more cautious, 
she’ll be on the lookout for bad signs, 
she won’t be able to trust herself or her judgement. 
I mean, she let herself like you, and you made it seem like you really liked her back, 
but obviously that wasn’t the case 
and now she won’t be able to stop the self-doubt from creeping in. 
She won’t be able to enjoy the next relationship, she won’t feel hope and calm, 
she’ll be anxious and on edge.

Yes, I know how uncomfortable the breakup conversation can be, 

it sucks for both people. 
But man up and get over your fear of looking like the bad guy 
because what you’re doing makes you an even worse guy.
If you aren’t interested anymore, tell her. 
Even if it’s only been a few dates, call her up, 
tell her you think she’s a great girl but you don’t think it will work out. 
Will she be hurt? Yes, rejection always hurts. 
But you will be doing her a big favor, whether she realizes it or not.

I’m sure you have had experiences with women 

where you weren’t quite sure how she felt. 
You would text her and she would respond in a pleasant, friendly manner. 
Maybe she’d agree to go out on dates, 
but deep inside you didn’t really know how she felt. 
You may have gotten angry or thought she was a tease. 
In the end it turns out you were right, she wasn’t that into you.
 But she strung you along for weeks and you’re pissed. 
I think you’d agree that it would have been much better 
had she just let you know the ugly truth as soon as it was clear to her.

Point is.. 

Do not play with signal..
 Cos sometimes woman's heart works more then their brain. 
We admit it, and please do understand , 
as we are from different planets.

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