Anything is Better Than Nothing

"Almost is such a painfully poetic word; we were almost perfect, we were almost lovers, we almost made it."

You both crossed paths. In the end, only one of you could walk away with the head held high. it was easier to live his life knowing someone like you didn’t exist.

He likes you too much, He always talks about you with hoping eyes.. because somehow you have caused an inferno to be unleashed which is threatening to burn his entire existence to the ground and you’ll not there to fan the flames. 

He wishes that you are happy. He knows that you are happy right now. He knows you promise him nothing, But somehow he still has hope. Because somehow he thinks maybe in the future you'll be alone, he'll be the one who will be there for you. Because you subconsciously giving him the signal that he is the one you like to talk with the most.

You consider him as your best friend, and everytime something exciting happens in your life, you cannot wait to tell all about it to him. you guys have so many things in common, you guys like a missing twin.

I know you mean no harm, I know you just want a friendly gesture, Its actually nice having someone that cares about you. 

I know you don't want to lose a friend. But it's not fair for him and he will never move on right now, not with you always around, not with your friendly act. not with the fact that you talk to each other every single day. 

He told you that he understands, he told you that he is ready to put his feeling on the past, but somehow you know it's not true, deep down you realize the more you guys close to each other, his feeling will not go anywhere.

A small gesture for you could be a big lap on his heart.

You told yourself you have no bad intention, you just

 want to be friends because you like him too much like that. 

But it's not helping anyone. you just give a sense of False hope, And subconsciously keep him on a leash.

he was there when you broke down, he was there when you relapse over your demon, and he was there when you finally get up and find a new love, even tho, the new love is not him. he swallowed the pain whole.

I know you don't want to hurt anyone, I know you just don't know how to react to this.

You talk to each other every day but You wish that he's feeling will washed away over time, without you need to adjust with the new circumstances, without you have to distant yourself... you wish at the end he'll see that you can not offer anything more, because your heart belongs to someone else.. but you know it is not true if you are always around... you know the memories will clouding his judgment of the situation between you two.

You know how it feels you had been there. You had been in his position when you were thinking “anything is better than nothing” and “feeling hurt is better than absences” and to be honest it is not healthy for everyone, not for you, not for him.