Funniest Homer Simpson Quotes.. HAHAHA.. PREPARE TO LAUGH!

• Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

• Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

• Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

• Well, it's 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kidsMaybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.'

• Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel.

• I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

• Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?

• Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way

• When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!

• Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
  

• You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

• I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

• Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

• Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try

• The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

• When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.

• Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.

• Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman.

• Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.

• Operator! Give me the number for 911!

• How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

• Television is a Teacher, mother, secret lover

• [Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
  Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You-are-gay.'

• All my life I've had one dream, to achieve my many goals

• Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless.

• Dear Lord.. The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal.

• If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing

• To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?