but at least it's not hurt, it is not painful, it's not leaving you with those aches in your chest and stomach. it doesn't leave you breathless empty like someone punched your throats.
if I have to choose between a peaceful death and painfully living, of course, I would choose peacefully.
I am afraid of living because living means I am going to love again, and I am afraid of loving.
I loved hard and giving all. and I do not regret it a bit. I am not angry that love doesn't work out. I love this love so much I don't even want to love another. I choose not to, I choose to love this love. even when it's hurt.
I fear love. I fear the idea of love, and most importantly I fear that I could love again.
I fear love and it makes me fear of living.
