How it feels like to love or be with someone with severe anxiety.

For anyone who thinks she/he's falling for a girl who tends to be a little on the anxious side, just know that it's going to be different than any girl you've loved before. She is going to be a little, or a lot, guarded. She'll scare easier. She's going to have a hard time trusting you, but it doesn't mean she doesn't.

She'll come off as confident and resilient, the type of person who knows how to get what she wants. She wants everyone to think she's strong, but don't be fooled so easily. When she realizes you can see through the show she puts on, it'll scare her. 

She wasn't sure if you will stay, because everyone get tired of her. She'll show you the worst because she wanted to know the real you, what's your plan to her, are you here to stay, are you here for good? do you have hidden agenda? is she just your back up plan? can you handle her at her worst, because, for sure that day will come.

The first time she breaks down and shows you what's really going on inside her head, it's going to be confusing. It's going to be so different from the side of her that you've seen before, and it's going to catch you off guard. and when this time comes, when she opens up to you, means that she trusted you know with all her cards, please don't take it lightly.

People in her world wasn't kind before, so she wasn't sure you are going to be different.

no matter how long you've been together, 5 weeks, 5 months, 5 year.

If you choose to stick around, it won't always be easy. 

As badly as I know you're going to want to, you can't just swoop in and save her from her past. She's been through a lot and it has affected her in ways you'll never be able to understand. You're going to try to kiss away her pain and her scars and all of her bad memories, but there will be times when you crawl into bed with her at 2 am after a long night and she's going to be in another world. No matter how hard you try, you won't be able to reach her, and that's okay. Sometimes she'll do that. She's just scared that if she explains what's going on in her head, all her doubts, and fears, that you'll run away just like the guys before you did. 

The best thing you can do in the world is to make her feel safe. When she's quiet, wrap your arms around her. When she's so stressed out that she can't form sentences correctly and those little worry lines form on her forehead, kiss her on the top of the head and tell her that you're there for her. 

Tell her that you understand, that she doesn't need to explain herself if she didn't want to, and let her speak when she needed to 

what she's going to say would seem to be nonsense and batshit crazy for you, 

but that is how raw she feels, and she knows that it doesn't make senses, and because she knows it, she scares that everything inside her head will scare you away, because no matter how hard she tried, she could never push all the thoughts away. 

She just needs to hear that it's going to be okay. 
she knows it will, she knows it will pass, she's done this ride before, 
this is not her first rollercoaster. 

She just needs someone to tell her, someone to convince her because right at that moment, her head tells her the other story. You'd be surprised by how much she really needs to hear those words, and hearing them from you will make a world of difference. 

I know it's gonna be hard to love her, but I can promise you one thing. If you stick around if you learn to love her little or a lot freak out moments about things that seem incredibly inconsequential, if you let her be herself and you learn how to handle her incessant worrying; without take it personally because it's not about you, it is all inside her head. And if you ride this with her it will change your life. Yes, she'll teach you patience and kindness as you've never known you have inside you. 

Once she knows that she can trust you, she'll show you a kind of love and understanding like you've never seen, and will likely never see again. When you break down her walls, she will do the same for you. You'll never have to explain yourself to her, and she will always be your #1 fan. Irreplaceable.

So although I know it may not seem worth it when she's crying and you can't do anything to help, or when she's been freaking out for four hours over something that makes no sense to you, but I can promise you that loving a girl with anxiety will change your world because she will NEVER love you half way. 

Raw and Loudly

Do not send mixed signals. Do not make me play mind reader. Do not expect me to guess how you feel about me. Tell me yourself. Speak your mind. Use your words. Raise your voice. Stop holding back your emotions and let them pour from you. I want to know what you think about when your eyes meet mine. I want to hear what your heartbeat is screaming.

Fuck your friends who tease you about being whipped by your girlfriend. Fuck passersby who are offended by a little bit of PDA. Fuck society for making you feel like you have to hold back your emotions, like acting heartless will protect you, like you are cooler when you do not care.

I want to see your vulnerable side. I want you to see you raw. I want to see you without a clamp around your heart.

You don’t have to hold yourself back around me. I’m not going to call you clingy. I’m not going to make you feel stupid about your innermost feelings. I am going to be impressed by your honesty because most people are afraid to embrace their truth. They play pretend in place of acting authentic. They distance themselves when they should be closing the gap.

Hug me from behind. Pull me onto your lap. Cuddle me. Play footsie with me beneath the dinner table. Call me beautiful. Call me baby. Kiss my forehead, my cheeks, my stomach.

I want you to be proud to call me your girlfriend. I don’t want you to hide me away inside the apartment. I don’t want to date you undercover.

I want to share our story with the universe because we are too excited to keep it to ourselves.

I don’t want you to play it cool. I want you to love me loudly.

The wrong person will call you "too much", the right one will call you "adventure".

Caring is not a crime. Getting attached easily is not a sign of a weakened heart.

You should be proud of your vulnerability. After everything you have gone through, it would be easier for you to say screw love, screw forever, screw happily ever afters. But you have not done that. You are still wearing your heart on your sleeve. You are still taking risks for love.

It takes strength to hand over a bruised heart. It takes strength to love again after being torn apart in the past. It takes strength to act what people call "clingy".

If someone does not see the value in your feeling, if someone is uncomfortable with how much attention you give them, you should march your heart in a different direction. Your soft heart is meant to be appreciated, not mocked.

Never settle for someone who makes you feel weird about how much you care.

You are allowed to show excitement and enthusiasm. You are allowed to look someone in the eyes and admit how you feel about them instead of sending subtle signals until they get the hint. You do not have to hide your feelings behind a blank mask. You can speak from your heart. You can say what is on your mind. You are allowed to tell how much you love. and your love wasn't suppose to be a burden.

You should never censor yourself around the love of your life. You should never feel like you have to walk on eggshells around them to avoid sending them running in another direction. 

You deserve someone who appreciates your transparency. Someone who is thankful they do not have to guess what you are thinking.

It takes strength to wear your heart on your sleeve when everyone else expects you to hide your heart away.

Stop apologizing for expressing yourself. Stop apologizing for being in touch with your emotions. Stop apologizing for treating others with the kind of kindness they deserve.

Some people might be intimidated by your honesty, but acting clingy is better than acting distant. It is better than pretending to be emotionless. It is better than censoring every thought that pops into your head. It is better than living a lie.

If you scare someone off with your too much feelings, let them leave. If someone calls you annoying for how much you care, let them leave too. 

The wrong person will call you "too much", the right one will call you "adventure". The right person will not mistake your clinginess as a character flaw. They will realize it is one of the most beautiful parts about you. Because it is part of you.

Girl ugly truth

Most Girls Don't Care About Money

For some guys (rich and poor alike) there's an assumption that girls are only interested in rich guys, and that the richer a guy is, the more interested the girls will be. Well, we won't lie: All other things being equal, there's a good chance your average girl prefers the Super-Rich Clone to the Homeless Clone. But just like you're interested in more aspects of a girl than just her bra size alone, your annual income, liquid assets, and real estate holdings (or lack thereof) don't necessarily matter to her. If you're a girl's type, she's going to be interested regardless of your dolla, dolla bills. And if she turns you down, there's a good chance it wasn't simply because she snuck a peek at your bank balance one time. Of course, if you're cheap and refuse to spend a dime on her, that's another story. It's less about the money, and more about the unspoken message that you're not worth that much to her. Now that's just common sense -- err, cents.  

You Better Introduce Them As Your Girlfriend

Let's set the stage. You're over at your girl's place. You've been going out for a few months. You're exclusive, and you each deleted your OkCupid profiles to prove it. Then her friends randomly show up, and she says, "Hi guys! This is my friend, Brad."

Hurts, doesn't it? Now you're wondering what's up. Are you too ugly? Is it something you said? Maybe you don't have enough money haven't been offering to pay for meals as often as she has? Are you in a fight? Has she downgraded you? Are you just her dirty little secret?

Well, same applies in reverse. When you're introducing her to friends, you introduce her as your girlfriend. And if you aren't 100% sure about the status of your relationship, maybe it's time to have that conversation with her -- like a real grown man. 

Keeping Secrets Is Cheating

When that cute girl you went to high school with added you on Facebook two months ago, you didn't tell her. Ditto when the girl liked a few of your statuses, and you liked a few of her profile pics. Ditto when you started chatting with her late one night and now you guys have regular talks. Ditto when you made plans to "have coffee and catch up" some time next week. Guess, what, pal? You might not have said anything strictly over the line. You might not have kissed, touched or even, gasp, fantasized about anything. But there's a reason you're not telling her -- you know that she wouldn't take it well. Well, you might not be cheating-cheating, but you're still cheating. Loving relationships are built on trust, not on the very tactical omissions of certain unpleasant truths. It might be time to look yourself in the mirror and own up to some of your more borderline behaviors, bud.  

Here is what the girls think: i respect trust and honesty ! If you hide something like this.. we might think about the possibilities to cheat ! 

They Worry If You Don't Text Them Back

 Text messages are a funny thing, aren't they? They take up zero space in the physical world -- they weigh nothing, they don't smell, and you can ingest an infinite amount without gaining weight -- but as meaningless as they sometimes seem, they secretly are full of meaning. Not all of them, of course -- "Brunch at 10 on Wednesday?" doesn't have the same power as "Baby, what's wrong? Why won't you pick up?" But a non-response to the former is a mere trifle compared to a non response to the latter. Admit it: When you choose not to answer your girlfriend's texts -- right away, or at all -- you're sending a message that they aren't important (and thus she isn't, either.) So be a gentleman, a hero, a knight in shining armor: If she texts you, just text back. (Unless you're driving.)

The Way You Write "I Love You" Matters

Text messages aren't the only little, itsy-bitsy things in the world that matter. Take love, for instance. Well, you may be asking yourself, "What is love?" And the answer, obviously, is "Baby, don't hurt me," and vigorous head-nodding. But A Night at the Roxbury references aside, love is a big deal, and it can manifest itself in your relationships in big ways. If she says, "I love you" and you say, "Me too," chances are, that's not the end of the discussion right there. Similarly, if she texts, "I love you," and you text back, "Luv u 2," you're sending her signals again. While this may seem like a minute detail, it can speak volumes to her about how committed you are to the sentiment -- in this case, not 2 much. If you really want to show her you love her, don't skimp. Use all the letters, and all the pronouns, and don't include any numbers -- unless you're making a heart with the "<" and the "3" at the end of the message.

When She's Mad, She Wants You To Give Her Attention 

This may seem counter-intuitive, but when she starts cursing at you, she really wants you to kiss her and tell her you love her. And when she ignores you, give her attention. Fights and spats and disagreements are mended with admissions of wrongdoing, forgiveness and 
sweet, sweet make-up romance -- not icy cold silence. (See.. It isn't so hard! Hahahah)